The case of the bulldog and the spilled coffee

Name: The case of the bulldog and the spilled coffee
Uploaded: 2023-02-04T20:23:44Z
Duration: 5 min 4 s
Description: First his teeth get brushed, then lotion goes on his dry nose. Reuben, an English bulldog, answers by knocking over an entire cup of coffee.

First his teeth get brushed, then lotion goes on his dry nose. Reuben, an English bulldog, answers by knocking over an entire cup of coffee. more

His dad isn't pleased. "You chose violence," he tells Reuben, who walked straight over to the cup on the floor and tipped it. "This is not a good start for the day." Then comes the charge: "Violence against coffee is a crime."

So the case goes to court, and the same man changes sides. Now he's Reuben's lawyer, in a suit and red tie and no shoes at all. This has been "a travesty of justice which cannot go unaddressed," he tells the court. Yes, there was a spill, but in no way, shape or form did his client have anything to do with it.

A man in a suit and red tie adjusts his glasses while holding a bulldog on his lap. A headline runs in white letters across the lower third. — In a suit and red tie, Reuben's dad takes the case, with the defendant on his lap.

There is yellow crime tape, of course. Exhibit A marks the spot where the spill is said to have happened, though by the time the authorities arrived, "also known as Mom," it was all cleaned up. Exhibit B is the cup itself. And the lawyer would like to know why the plaintiff's coffee cup was sitting on the floor next to the chair in the first place.

He will admit that the defendant had his teeth brushed just before, and that cream went on his nose. But the idea that Reuben acted out of anger is libel, and there will be separate proceedings for besmirching his client's good name. Besides, the cup is defective. Its bottom isn't all the way level, and "we have experts."

Through all of this, the client is no help at all. Reuben spends much of the hearing wrapped around his lawyer's leg with great feeling, while giggles drift in from the sidelines. The lawyer never cracks a smile.

A bulldog with adult markings, white and brown fur, stands indoors near 'EXHIBIT A' signs on a carpeted floor. The headline runs in white letters across the lower third. — First his teeth get brushed, then lotion goes on his dry nose.

"I move to dismiss this case with prejudice," the lawyer says, and the court agrees. "Case dismissed." Reuben gets his justice, a round of high fives and a big hug with his lawyer.

Afterward the firm gets its plug. For any and all of your canine cases, Dog Law is "your number one source." Then come the outtakes, and in one of them Reuben knocks an exhibit sign flat. "He's contaminating the crime scene," his lawyer protests, and Reuben is only getting fired up.