2:45
A banjo song about the night Santa got lice
The Moron Brothers open with an apology. They have a little Christmas story, and it's a sad one. It'll either break your heart, they warn, “or make you scratch your head.” more
They tell it on guitar and banjo. A few years ago on Christmas Eve, Santa was at their house. He must have been tired, because he lay down for a minute on their couch. Then he jumped up in a hurry, checked all his reindeer and flew off into the darkness. They were all “scratching from ear to ear.”
SaveThe chorus gives the game away. “It was the lousiest Christmas we ever had,” they sing. They scratched and itched and combed their hair, and they're not over it yet. Santa doesn't come to their house anymore, naughty or nice. They are “the ones that gave Santa Claus and all his reindeer lice.”
SaveThe second verse follows the sleigh home. The trip back to the North Pole takes three or four days, and they scratch so much they almost lose their way. Santa shaves off all his hair, then his whiskers too. When he shaves the reindeer, Rudolph's nose turns blue.
The brothers wrote Santa a letter. He called them on the phone and said he would drop their presents in the yard, but he wouldn't come in their home. So every Christmas Eve, out in the snow and ice, the gifts land in the yard. Santa, they explain, doesn't “want to catch no lice.”
SaveThe song ends where it began. “Now you've heard our Christmas story, I told you it was sad.” Their advice for the listener is simple. Go on and scratch your head. At least one listener admits to scratching long before that.

















