Adult male in a pinstriped suit jacket holding an old-fashioned telephone receiver, wearing gloves; adult female in dark-colored dress with fur collar or trim, arms crossed over chest. Ornate vase and intricate patterns suggest formal interior space from the mid-20th century. 5:10
MGM Presents channel icon MGM PresentsOriginal creator 33K views Save

Wednesday Addams is told there are no witches

Somebody has told Wednesday there is no such thing as witches. She has come home early from trick-or-treating, and the whole Addams house is about to hear why. more

The somebody is Mr. Thompson, from across the street. This is a 1960s Halloween episode of The Addams Family, with Lisa Loring as Wednesday, and her family didn't expect her home before morning. Now there are tears, on their very own holiday.

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Wednesday comes home early from trick-or-treating, upset by what the neighbor across the street told her.

"What fiend uttered that vile canard?" Gomez (John Astin) wants to know. Uncle Fester thinks the man should be horsewhipped. Wednesday just says she had better go up to bed, because "if you can't believe in witches, what can you believe in?"

One careless remark, and the child's ideals are crushed. The family settles on a phone call to tell Mr. Thompson just what his lies have done. Fester would still rather get a horse, but Morticia (Carolyn Jones) reminds him that you don't make friends by whipping people, and Gomez agrees to be civilized and reason with the man.

Adult male in a pinstriped suit jacket holding an old-fashioned telephone receiver, wearing gloves; adult female in dark-colored dress with fur collar or trim, arms crossed over chest. Ornate vase and intricate patterns suggest formal interior space from the mid-20th century. The headline runs in white letters across the lower third.Save
Somebody has told Wednesday there is no such thing as witches.

His opening line on the phone is "Thompson, you lying scoundrel." Mr. Thompson doesn't know what a vile canard is, so Gomez tries plainer words and asks what the big idea was of telling his children there are no witches. He signs off with "Well, that's an interesting point of view. Goodbye." When Morticia asks if the man said sorry, Gomez admits, "Not exactly. He called me a nut."

"Tish, there are witches, aren't there?" Of course there are, Morticia tells him. She reminds the family of great-great-great-aunt Singe, who was burned at Salem, and shows them her ashes. Aunt Singe, someone notes, still looks pretty good, and that settles that.

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Morticia's proof that witches exist is great-great-great-aunt Singe, or rather her ashes.

But they can't take this lying down. They have to prove to Wednesday that witches exist, and the best proof would be one witch who will sit down and explain things to her. The classified pages list nothing under W but witch hazel, and an ad is no good either, because the want ads closed two hours ago.

Then Morticia has an inspired idea. If they want a witch, they can call on Aunt Singe herself by holding a séance. Someone fondly remembers the last one, where dear departed brother Clump never answered, which is how they knew it was him. He was a quiet one.

The plan is set, and no right-thinking witch, they figure, would turn down a child on Halloween. Grandma isn't so sure. She tells Lurch (Ted Cassidy) this is an emergency and he has to stay here and help, because imagine Morticia and Gomez thinking a witch will pop up on an hour's notice, on Halloween, the busiest night of the year.

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With no witch likely to turn up on the busiest night of the year, Grandma turns to Lurch.

She asks him if he knows how let down those children will be. Whatever Lurch says, Grandma is glad he feels that way. "So tonight, you are a witch."