Three women in professional attire, an older adult female left with a beige blazer over red top, middle-aged female center with light pink floral blouse, and older adult right in yellow and white patterned blouse, seated indoors possibly at an office or meeting room setting. 5:27
It's a Southern Thing channel icon It's a Southern ThingOriginal creator 700K views Save

Granny union says no deal, no babysitting

Three Southern grandmothers march into a meeting to tense, militant music, and the first demand comes before anyone sits down. They need rocking chairs. more

Once they're settled, this It's a Southern Thing sketch plays out like a high-stakes union meeting. The parents say they have received the list, and the grannies make sure they know it was in the newspaper too. Item one is two calls a day, but not during your stories. Diana, on the parents' side, calls that a little excessive. "If you have time for Candy Crush," a granny shoots back, "you should have time for me." The parents offer one call and one text. That won't do. "A text is cold and heartless. If I don't hear your voice, it don't count."

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The first demand is two phone calls a day, and a text doesn't count as one.

Next is round-the-clock tech support. When the parents say nobody can always be on call, the grannies note that the kids can fill in. The parents reply that it's not the kids' fault a granny can't work the eight remotes she has for one TV. So the grannies drop the TokTik tutorial, which is just as well. Anna Beth can't teach anyone TikTok on a flip phone.

Two full family vacations a year comes next. The parents could barely squeeze in one beach trip with just the four of them, and one granny is hearing about it for the first time. "Y'all went to the beach without me?" The demand goes up to three on the spot, though one can be a long weekend. Two Sunday suppers a month passes much faster, once the parents ask who is cooking. "Of course, sweetie."

Zero treat limits for the grandkids is where things get sticky. The parents thought the grannies were with them on cutting back sugar. Memaw paints a picture instead. "Imagine sweet little Jackson's face when you tell him no more lollipops from Memaw." It's not the lollipops, the parents explain. It's multiple lollipops, and Anna Beth came home from a visit with a bad stomach ache. "Well, she seemed fine when she was with me. All smiles."

When the parents call the word "treat" too vague, one granny starts in on the list. Candies, chocolates, cakes, cupcakes, cookies, cinnamon buns, creams. The parents thank her, then thank her again, trying to make it stop. She keeps going with "Little Debbie's delicious little cakes," hot chocolate and those strawberry candies.

The last item is time off for Bunco nights. One parent didn't even know she played Bunco. "Well, if you called me more often, you would." The grandkids are welcome to bring food and drinks to the players, though it's certainly not required. "You want our ten-year-old to serve cocktails?" The parents call the whole list extensive and unrealistic. The grannies' reply is short. If the demands aren't met, they strike.

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The parents call the list of demands extensive and unrealistic.

Then come the consequences. No more homemade pies. Not another dime for the grandkids' fundraisers, so Anna Beth will have to hear that Granny's not buying any more Thin Mints, and Jackson can get a part-time job instead of selling Boy Scout popcorn. In short, the Bank of Grandma is closed. "That was choreographed," someone notes. Even the Vicks VapoRub for every possible ailment is on the line.

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If the demands are not met, the grannies cut off pies, fundraiser money and more.

They save the worst for last. No more free babysitting. "You wouldn't," a parent says. "You monsters!" The grannies suggest firing up a Care.com account.

Three women in professional attire, an older adult female left with a beige blazer over red top, middle-aged female center with light pink floral blouse, and older adult right in yellow and white patterned blouse, seated indoors possibly at an office or meeting room setting. The headline runs in white letters across the lower third.Save
Three Southern grandmothers march into a meeting to tense, militant music, and the first demand comes before anyone sits down.

The flaw in that last threat is plain enough, since no babysitting means less time with the grandkids. The grannies press on anyway. "Do we have a deal?" one asks, and then all three start a chant: "Kids are sweet, give them treats."